The world is abuzz as news of a massive, world-wide conspiracy gains steam. Originally dubbed 'The Great Snackageddon', the theory suggests that a powerful cabal of mathematicians, scientists, and other elite minds has conspired to slowly alter the chemical makeup of everyday snack foods for some unknown purpose. Utilizing the latest advances in nanotechnology and genetic engineering, the cabal has, over the past several years, managed to make subtle changes to the DNA structures of all major snack brands, slowly reducing the sugar content, sodium, fat, and nutritional content of such snacks.
The cabal's motivation behind this endeavor, while not yet known, is believed to involve some kind of power play among the world's economic and political super powers, something which frightens many potential observers into silence. In addition, the cabal is believed to have a keen understanding of the psychological effects of these changes, and have developed this plan in order to slowly Pavlovian-condition the world into accepting a healthier way of life with regards to snack foods.
The evidence of this conspiracy has been slowly but steadily building over the last year, starting with subtle changes in the taste, texture, and nutritional information on food labels. Reports began to slowly trickle out on social media from astute snack connoisseurs, who, upon realizing the differences in taste, texture, and nutrition, began to investigate further. Through dogged attempts, amateur sleuths have uncovered minor news stories buried in obscure news outlets, private eye witnesses willing to speak out, and countless other pieces of circumstantial evidence that all point to this far-reaching and malevolent plan to quietly and carefully manipulate the snack food industry for some unknown purpose.
Though it may be hard to believe, the evidence for this massive and age-spanning conspiracy is oddly compelling. It will be interesting to see what will come to light if, and when, the cabal is exposed and the purpose of 'The Great Snackageddon' finally becomes clear.
- @ July 5, 2023 4:05 am