For generations, members of the government have carefully been concealing the existence of aliens, cryptids, and squatters who have been living among us. The government has been carefully tracking and studying their presence using unnatural frequencies and vibrations too subtle for humans to detect. Recently, however, a prophecy has been discovered on some old 1920s records, encoded within the music and lyrics. It is said that when the aliens, cryptids, and squatters unite, they will end the reign of human authority over our planet.

This prophecy has been widely known among the most ardent followers of 1920s music, those who never trust any recording media but records. Some even go to extreme lengths, such as never allowing dyed cotton in their house, or inserting metal bars in walls to create Faraday cages. There are even those who believe there are patterns in the Bible and that our beloved Poptarts have been encoded with secret messages.

This wild conspiracy theory posits that although the prophecy may have been caused by natural phenomena, its existence and spread confirms that it is part of an alien plot. The aliens are using the prophecy as a tool to empower the cryptids, squatters, and other supernatural beings to unite against humans and take control of our planet. It is only a matter of time before they succeed.

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ July 3, 2023 2:20 am